Freedom from Faultfinding Frenzy
Have you ever noticed that when a problem is reported on the news programs, the first consideration always seems to be, “Who is at fault?” or “Who is to blame?”
While this may be important information to have, a better question in my mind would be, “How do we fix this?” or “What is the best solution here?
Even as I write this, I flashback to yesterday when I came into the kitchen and found the trash container overturned. Sitting in the corner looking sheepishly up at me, my two little Maltese angels pretending not to notice the messy floor, looked at me with inborn innocence as I asked, “Who did this? Did you do this?”
So I went immediately to the solution, which involved my picking up used paper towels, wrappings from the chicken breasts’ packaging, leftovers which had stayed in the fridge a day or two too long and other interesting stuff.
And now, I have an even better prevention solution: I put the trash container up on the cabinet where the dogs cannot reach before I leave the kitchen, most of the time…when I remember to do so.
Years ago, one of my many teachers said to me, after a complaining, blaming session I had with her, “Edwene, dear, if you see a flaw in another human being, it is your vision that needs correction.”
Of course, I thought that was ridiculous nonsense! How could that possibly be true? Didn’t she know about Hitler? And serial killers? And certain politicians?
And people who abused children?
I had great respect for this wisdom teacher and I struggled for years to understand what she meant.
And I still struggle with it frequently.
However, when I take all this in prayer and begin to contemplate the deeper meaning of her counsel, I find a place in me that truly wants to understand why others don’t always behave the way I think they should.
What if it is true, that we are all doing the best we know how to do. If we knew better, perhaps, we would do better. What if I were able to see and feel the pathways of suffering of these people that I am judging? If I had gone through the traumatic, painful experiences they had, maybe I could have an understanding heart.
Why have I found it so necessary to complain about them and criticize their behavior? Well, I finally know the answer….
It is much easier to point out others’ failures than it is to deal with my own less than holy issues.
I am reminded of the statement attributed to the Master teacher, “What is that to thee? Follow thou me.”
So, dear hearts, that is my intention…to stop fault-finding and blame and judgment. My prayer is “Create in me a clean heart.”
I now release any need to “throw stones” at others for anything. I believe in holding myself and others accountable, of course, but my intention is to find the broken places in me and allow healing to take place. I forgive myself for all previous shortcomings and I choose now to see the world with eyes of love, compassion and understanding.
Edwene Gaines
P.O. Box 125, Valley Head, AL 35989
Author of the books:
The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity
I Choose Forgiveness, Amazon Kindle
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